What the Heck eHarmony?

Somewhere around 10 years ago I joined eHarmony for the first time. With their matching metrics, I didn’t do well as I was overweight. I had a couple of conversations with men, but even more who had in their profile that they were intolerant of anyone overweight. I quit after a few months, matches had dwindled to a few a week. In the three month period I recall just one phone date.
More recently, I talked to a number of people who had met and been happy with the service. So I tried it for a month, costing almost $50.

What the Heck eHarmony?

In that month I was “matched” with almost 650 men. The four or five that seemed interesting never responded to my first steps to connect. Nearly all of the matches were with men with less than college. Ah, I didn’t complete college myself. Although I teach at the University level and pursued an alternative education that I’m very proud of, not a college graduate. So I apparently was matched with mostly no college graduates.

Most of the matches (I’m thinking 75% at least) were somewhat or very conservative. Not a match.

About half the matches were “a good match outside of my settings”. Not one of those seemed like a good match.

eHarmony used to be known for their very careful, scientifically based formulas for success. 650 men in four weeks isn’t showing a lot of discrimination or filtering.

I responded to two men who contacted me, both seemed wildly inappropriate. The first “moved on” after getting my email. The second one said nothing, but eHarmony contacted me a few minutes later saying the account was likely hacked, I should stop contact with him, and to be safe. Well that was uncomfortable.

One man followed through after contacting me, and we are looking for a time for dinner. He was able to find me online based on the information I provided. So he bypassed the eHarmony structure in the end. Not as creepy as it sounds.

Today I’ve canceled my account, pulled photo and all the other written information from my profile, and stopped notifications. I do hope that is enough to get out of this wacky system.

I feel I’ve wasted a bit of money and a lot fo time for a service that is not what it seems.

One Response to “What the Heck eHarmony?”

  1. ldfeldt says:

    Hmm. My profile is supposed to be off line. But I got a message tonight from someone agreeing with my only written part – that I’m leaving the site because the matches are too weird. So now I need to complain and get my profile down. I figured that was the issue, many dead profiles. I took everything off that I could. Including my photos. This site is creeping me out.
    I didn’t even mention, above, the quirky interface. It kept skipping pages, moving from one to another without doing anything, and having pop ups form the previous page remain and block text. I did complain about most of this directly to eHarmony. I don’t think they acknowledge complaints.

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