Teaching a class on addictions sounds simple. But it is taking on the whole issue of life and death and dealing with reality and depression and coping and mental illness and physical limitations. Easy stuff, right?
Today we got very real. Talking about depression and suicide and self injury. What to do when life really sucks, how to cope with the really hard times. Times when drugs and escape seems like a good idea. Can I help these kids remember to choose healthy options when the world comes crashing in around them?
I told them some harsh stories about suicide and sexual abuse and examples of people sometimes finding good options and sometimes not.
How to cope? Talk to your parents, start with small problems, practice for the hard times. I so wish I had trsted my parents even a little instead of just parenting myself so much of the time. I made some big errors in the process. Better if they had made the mistakes instead.
I also suggested that they find other adults to trust. Learn how to talk to them. Then we went around with other ideas of how to cope – play music, talk, listen to music, climb tres, skateboard, play tennis, talk, cuddle, pet your dog.
Was I just rambling or did it help? It is a fundamental point, but how do you teach it? I guess I hope that my sincerity made a difference, I put myself into the situation, I tried to be real.
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As a fellow educator, I too am taxed with the responsibility of helping kids to see their situations on a more global scale and to help them find their own voice as they cope with harsh realities. Kids appreciate honesty. I have struggled with an eating disorder for more than 20 years and self-injury for more than 30. My experiences have legitimized my voice and my perspective amongst my students. By seeing me struggle, and at times literally fight for my life, my students know that it is possible to rise above adversity. We too talk about coping and various ways of doing so. We talk about the need to feel heard and how to express feelings that seemingly have no way to be expressed other than through addiction, violence or harm of some kind (either to themselves or others). I think it is important for kids to see that it’s okay to struggle and admit it and to keep fighting, to keep seeking answers, to keep things in perspective and to learn from their mistakes. Too few adults are honest about their struggles and that’s why many kids think that their lives are flawed and others are not. If more kids could see that all people struggle, I think they would feel better about their own situations.
Vanessa,
Thanks for your comments and support. I have been honest with the kids, I thinkwhen yo’re teaching about drugs and addications and sex and safety you have to be. It is the only thing that works.
I tell them the first class I’m an alcoholic – 25 years sober this August.
But I am also constantly aware of the parents, the vareity of values and priorities. That it is a number of controversial issues and ideas.
The subjects are important enough to have that stress, to find the way to do it, but it is also hard to teach some of the most controversial and personally challenging subjects possible.
But it really matters. That’s the bottom line. Succeeding here can make the difference between life and death, true happiness and terrible struggle. Life.