Linda Diane Feldt

I loved the long car trip with my family to the outskirts of Buffalo NY each year. It was a time fo forced closeness, and it was mostly fun. I especially remember the journey made in the 1965 Plymouth Valiant Station Wagon, a light blue car with a slant 6 engine. That was the car that I learned to drive with. By the time I got my license we also had the VW Squareback named Robin, but I took a bit longer to learn how to drive a manual transmission.

For thanksgiving we’d alternate dinner with my father’s siblings. One year with Aunt Eunie and Uncle Frank, another with Uncle Gordon and Aunt Vi, then Aunt Gunny and Uncle Elmer. Every fourth year people made the trek to our small dining room in Ithaca New york

We always drove through Avalon, where there was an antique store my parents liked. We bought large and small pieces there, and each year I would carefully scour the shop for finds. I think the type trays may be the only thing left from there that I bought. But I’m pretty sure my hall tree came from that store, as well as David’s pie cupboard.

There were also sugary sticks in wild flavors we’d buy, and slowly suck for the rest of the ride. Our game fro driving was the song game. Someone would start a song, and stop suddenly on a word. The challenge was to come up with a song that had that word in it. If no one could think of one the original singer had to come up with one and stop on another word. The goal was to get back to the original song. We heard a lot of interesting music on those trips.

My brother was also talented in making up songs on the spur of the moment – really silly lyrics that seemed pure brilliance at the time.

Dinner was always a squeezed affair. Kids tables, I remember best all of us in the basement of Aunt Eunie and Uncle Franks, using a ping pong table to add more space. It seems pretty odd now to be eating in the basement, but it seemed perfectly reasonable at the time.

I also loved playing with my older cousins. One of my favorite years was playing with model cars on tracks with Dan and Jim. Dan has been dead now for more years than I can remember, he died younger than I am now, the alcoholism that is such a threat to my family.

I also remember bringing home our cat Spooky who survived into old age after beginning his life with my Aunt Gunny and Uncle Gordy. Coming home with this gray and white kitten, riding in the dark for so many hours with this tiny exciting new life was just fabulous.

We also always came home with presents that wouldn’t reappear until the next month. Frustrating.

We always spent the night, I was never sure how the negotiations went as to who went where. But I also knew that I wasn’t supposed to say that my favorite place to stay was with Aunt Eunie.

So once a year we had this intimate fun quick reunion with all of these relatives. And then didn’t really communicate for the rest of the year. But I miss that.

I’m heading out this afternoon to be with these people who are new to my life. I’ve known one of my hosts for nearly 30 years, sure, but had never been in his home or had more than a passing conversation until this year. A pretty mild history. All new people who weren’t figures in my life until last year, and who knows about next year?

I miss the long history, the building foundations of connection and caring evenif it was just once a year.

I’ll probably call up a few cousins in the next few days, send an e-mail to the rest saying high. My family is all in town but we’re all going ot different places – the largest gathering of Feldt’s will be my brother with his three kids going to his ex-wives home that is shared with her new husband. That’s a good thing.

Feeling a little adrift. Awash with change and not sure who and what to trust. But if these people have the tradition of going aorund the table to say what we’re thankful for, I know what I will say.

I’m thankful my brother is alive.
I’m thankful for the wonderful adventures I’ve had this year with Gary, and for him being in my life.
I’m thankful that Nala and I found each other.
I’m thankful for all the opportunities I have to teach – my clients, my students, my readers.
I’m thankful for all the things I’ve learned this year. What a year!
I’m thankful for ending the year in far better health than I began – 17 pounds lighter, stronger, more iron in my blood, and with lower blood pressure and even better eating habits.
I’m thankful for my friends, and all we’ve shared the last year.
I’m thankful for coming into a new year with so much potential and possibilities.
Oh yes, and I am SO VERY VERY THANKFUL that Barack Obama will be our next president. This end of year would feel so catastrophically different if that was not the case!

That’s enough for now.

I hope I can be as positive next year.