So I was thinking about this guy, and how I’ve never really forgiven him for his deliberate trip. And I’ve never forgotten him either. So I thought his name was unique enough to give it a try. And I found him.

He is still in Ithaca. He helps rescue animals. He is a fireman. He seems to be happily married.

It is so weird to be able to find an old nemesis living a good life, clearly being a good person, contributing to the world.

I forgive you Mark. I’m sorry you were an 8 year old boy who purposely hurt me. It isn’t an uncommon thing. I wonder what you would think that I have cursed you regularly, with each fall I’ve taken on that knee, a pattern you initiated 45 years ago.

Have a great life. The next time I fall on my knee, I will think of you and this odd connection we have so many years later.

Should I send you a message, Mark?

http://www.wimp.com/rockbalancing/

Synesthesia is that ability to combine senses, with often extraordinary results. I’m have synesthesia, and used to think I was a freak of some sort. But it si pretty simple really. I see what I feel, and feel what I see. Makes it handy to teach a class – form across the room I can tell what sort of touch a person is using and make suggestions. And of course working on clients doing bodywork it makes me work more dimensional and intuitive. It;s a great shortcut. If I look at someone I can mostly tell how they feel.

So I liked this video as it comes across strongly that something else is going on.

Synesthesia is a possible explanation.

It is liberating, it is scary to toss so much history away, and it is in the end a huge relief.

In the process of review, I”m finding bits and pieces of my life. Class evaluations that are scathing (some of the future pharmacists thought my class was a waste of time and money) as well as laudatory (life changing even). I was tempted to save the worst, to keep me humble, but they actually reveal more about the writer than how I can improve as a teacher.

Brochures from places I visited and forgot, places I loved and want to remember. The Grand Canyon, Sedona, Vancouver Island, Santa Monica, El Paso, decades of travel reduced to small pieces of paper.

And so much more that is now gone. No need to even list it here.

I don’t have descendents who would be the designated sorters once I pass. I do have friends and loved ones outlined in my will. This certainly relieves the burden on them!

Next I start putting books and records up for sale. I have parted with no records ever – so my collection goes back to 1968 or thereabouts. My first LP was Creedance Clearwater Revival — Pendulum. My first 45 was Back in the USSR. You know the artist.

With an entire backroom filled with books, I know I can part with a few hundred to start. Duplicates, and then getting more serious. I will keep thousands still – reference books, sci fi, poetry books of my mothers. But I have about 40 astrology books that are not being used and are collection items. They can all go.

I need to have found a lot of what I have now reclaimed for future books and articles. Success. In a way, knowing where it all is is even better than having so much of it saved. It was just more stuff than I could access and use.

Hurray! Less stuff and appreciating what I do have even more. This is fun.

The first Christmas in our new house in Ann Arbor. The three of us and my mom. My dad took the picture.

Then we stopped exchanging gifts once his youngest was 18. None of us really needed more stuff. My dad had been just giving us money since my mom died. Everyone seemed relieved although I’ll admit it was kind of strange and sad to not get any presents at all from anyone some Christmases. I do like presents, when it is something I actually need and will use.
When David got sick, he stopped hosting the party at his house. My dad did it a few times, as did I, but that also wound down. With my mom, and then with David, there was a lot of emotional baggage – what if this is the last Christmas together? Well, for both of them there was that last time.
We didn’t get together two years ago because David was suddenly much worse. We did last year, a short get together at my house, and I even let people bring meat. That was the last time we were all together.
We aren’t going to be getting together this year. I suppose partly because it makes the absence of David – still an open wound for each of us – more glaring. Added to my mom’s absence for almost 20 year now.
It is the end of a tradition. Which seems really sad. And should be a chance for a new tradition, a new way of participating in this “holiday season” that it sometimes feels like everyone else has.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know what matters, what I want to extract from this special time of year. I don’t want to feel alone, or left out, or without a family. I’m not sure even what special way I want to be with my sweetheart, who is really the closest to family that I have – this will be our 2nd Christmas time together. Last year I put up a solstice tree, and really appreciated seeing all the ornaments I’ve collected over my life, and the ones my parents have passed on to me. But that seems a little awkward still. I hadn’t done that since the Christmas after my mom died. That year I did the whole decorating, but ended up tearing down the tree and throwing it out the front door on Christmas. I couldn’t stand the memories without having my mom around. That was dramatic.
I would like to have some new traditions. But I don’t know what to do.
I will grieve the loss of family, the loss of tradition, and look for the opportunity for something new, something meaningful.

The holiday time is a stark reminder of who is missing. The people you have always shared this time with. It could be devastatingly sad. I need something else to do.

I’ve been attending for a few years, and was also somehow chosen to stand in for Ed when he can’t make it. In addition to lunch, there is also an extensive mail list where people ask for advice on any topic, not limited to computers and technology.

The format for lunch is informal until 12:30. At that time Ed does a bit of a standup introduction if there are new people, which nearly always begins with “I’m Ed Vielmetti and I organize lunch”

There is a question that is used for an introduction, as people go around and answer the question as well as introduce themselves. At 1 pm we wrap up, announce any upcoming events, and then go on about the day.

Here is what I wrote for the email list about today’s lunch:

There were about ten of us today, without Ed.
The question was to talk about any recent polite complaints you’ve made with the option to instead talk about the benefit of escalation.
Also, a reminder to check your furnace and carbon monoxide detectors to avoid possible death from carbon monoxide. Get detectors if you don’t have them!

Mortgage companies, cable and phone companies were dominant although the discussion was begun with my complaint about perfume ads. It is also nice to have so many mechanisms for quickly complaining – Facebook, twitter, blog, and email to the company.

People stayed around for more discussion of geothermal heating and cooling and weatherizing and energy saving measures including the pros and cons of solar in Michigan.

i like the group because the people are mostly kind, generous, intelligent and funny. I’ve made friends I would not have otherwise have met. And I often get great ideas, help, and inspiration and encouragement form the group. It is part of my routine (which I have little of) and I like it.

We meet at Eastern Accents, every Thursday except holidays, art fair, and other times they are closed. Everyone is welcome to attend.

The perfume can’t possibly smell that bad in real life – why is this a good advertising strategy?

An email to Macy’s and AnnArbor.com is next. When the paper was The Ann Arbor News we had an agreement that they would deliver a “clean” non perfumed paper when Macy’s did this. Many years later, I’ll see what can be done.

Meanwhile, subscribe here for free for frequent musings and observations and links.

The night before soak about 3 cups garbanzo beans. Cook until just soft, about an hour. A few hours before dinner, start with a lot of onions sauted in olive oil. I’m making a couple gallons, so at least 1 and a half large white onions. I’ll add 4-5 cloves garlic. Add about 8 cups water, and 3 cans of diced or whole tomatoes, and the cooked and strained garbonzo beans. Green peppers, carrots, a bit of red cabbage, broccoli, chard, kale, and collards can all be added or choose a few of these vegetables.

Let that cook for about an hour, until the veggies are soft. If you want a thick soup, before you add all the garbanzos reserve a couple of cups and mash them before adding to the soup.

Cook a generous amount of pasta (spaghetti or other noodles) and add a few minutes before serving. Also add a bag of frozen corn. Season with salt, basil or oregano, and a dash of cayenne if desired.

Serve with some sliced scallions on top. A nice filling soup with the fun of pasta.