Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Dating Update – Protocol for Revealing the Obvious?

Friday, October 9th, 2009

I’m in a very awkward position of not really wanting to put dating on hold for the rest of the year, but there is this awkward and kind of weird issue that can’t be hidden. As in, yeah, it isn’t that I’m really fat, I just have this basketball sized tumor in my belly.

There isn’t a really easy, light, let’s not get too personal too fast sort of way to do that. Oh yeah, and then there is the part about I may need to take a break for 4-6 weeks to recover from major abdominal surgery. But we can have fun in the meantime, right?

Sure, even as I become rather self absorbed and given to bouts of crying for no apparent reason, obsessing over who will take care of my dog, how to pay bills while not working, concern over abandoning my clients, and having some real feelings over being rather dependent and not so much independent for a rather long (and totally unprecedented) period of time.

Yeah, so I’m kind of in a vulnerable awkward place where the fun and comfort of dating and physical closeness and hope is still really important. And it is hard to relax about in person meetings when I’m feeling rather physically disfigured. The tumor is growing, and it has become more and more obvious.

My usual style – transparent, up front, generally works kind of well but not all strangers want to hear about huge tumors and blood loss. And I don’t think contemplating 12-16 inch scars on your potential love interest is a huge turn on. But I could be wrong about that. You never know.

So here is my plan.
** Find as much humor in as much of it as I possibly can.
** Provide the info/warning before any in person date.
** Don’t indulge in the temptation to answer everyone who asks “how are you” by making them imagine how a basketball can fit into someone’s belly and what that might feel like.
** Try and believe it when a guy says I’m attractive. Attraction is more than not looking pregnant, after all. I am looking much more slim and fit and yeah nice smile nice hair — not bad except for this bizarre lump in my belly that turns out to be larger than a basketball.
** Look for other descriptors other than basketball. That’s even getting old for me. The surgeon even promised not to start dribbling it in the OR. See humer, above, are there funny ways to describe large tumors? What is wrong with soccer balls?
** Try and expand my comfort zones. I’m comfortable about the surgery. I’m pretty OK with being in pain. Being fed for a week or two has a lot to say for it. Can I get more comfortable feeling disfigured and bizarrely shaped? Just for a few more weeks. I did it before. Well, that part seems to bring on the previously mentioned tears. Needs work.
** Explore this impulse to tell people about the surgery/tumor/medical details so they know it isn’t just being fat. Does it really help, or make things worse and really uncomfortable? At least we are all wearing more clothes since it is fall, is it less obvious?
** Give up on MDs who are condescending and clueless. They have started to emerge, there will certainly be more, no energy need go there.
** If there is an educational component I’m happier. Work that angle. Much much much much better than self absorption and soliciting pity and scaring people.
** If I start to freakout, it is almost always because I don’t understand something, information is missing, or someone is not listening or acknowledging or validating me. I know that, so I also know the solutions. And they are pretty quick and easy, really.
** Keep writing. It helps. And more of that potential for greater education/sharing/helping others.
** I am in a vulnerable spot, so it makes sense that I feel really vulnerable. I can explore that, I can learn more, and it is a good point of contact with people who care. Oh, but it is uncomfortable.

It is going to be a weird couple of months. Maybe I’ll just refer all potential dates to this blog. If they can deal, great, if not, I have yet another screening tool. The other side – meaning somewhere around Jan 1 – is bound to be interesting as well. Much potential. One known fact – I will be feeling much more healthy and happy to have my body back and no future tumors. Yeah. That is something to focus on. Outcome.

weird cat behavior

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

I had a cat that would bat at water, but never one who went this far.

See more funny videos and Cute Animals Videos at Today’s Big Thing.

Homeopathic ER

Saturday, August 8th, 2009

A well done jab at alternative medicine. I loved it. Because if you can’t laugh at yourself then what is the point?

Birthday in May

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

I sort of skipped over this event, because the week just got away from me. But it was a much anticipated, planned, thought about and large event in my life. So it deserves some notice and a few comments.

My 50th birthday was in February. Not much to do with a winter birthday but sit around inside and eat cake. Although I now recall that the teacher mentioned in my earlier block post today was there for my 16th birthday at Farrels. They were in Briarwood mall at the time, and it is an ice cream and cake sort of place. If it si your birthday they come out and sing to you with lots of noise and attention, give you some great ice cream treat, and everyone gets to be silly.

That works even in winter.

But I wanted to be out with friends, I envisioned a sort of parade. So I decided to celebrate three months later – May 3. I arranged for music – and ended up with some really fine musicians. I bought 3 dozen bottles of bubbles. I made great food, including five kinds of cheesecake. And I invited a lot of people. And, I made it a fundraiser. For Growing Hope.

We walked to the park in front of the Co-op, although there was also one unicycle! Once there the music continued and I served cheesecake to everyone, even the innocent bystanders. That was fun.

I’m not sure many people knew totally what was going to go on, maybe just a few of my closest friends. But about 50 ended up being part of at least one part of it, and nearly half did it all.

There are some great photos on facebook. And The Ann Arbor Chronicle weaved it into a larger story.

I’m glad I risked being silly. I’m really glad to have found such great musicians willing to play. I’m really happy to be 50. And most of all, I’m really happy to live in this community and have so many extraordinary people in my life. Wow. It is great to take that moment to say yeah, this is something. I feel well celebrated, well loved, and really happy I did it. Money is still coming in for Growing Hope, I’ll post the total later. It isn’t inteh thousands as I originally hoped. But a nice contribution and many people heard about this organization who wouldn’t have otherwise!

And I have lots of left over soap bubbles for the summer. And there was a lot of left over cheesecake, a week later, one piece remains. And no, I didn’t eat it all myself.

The Onion Parody on Sex Ed

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Although it went a little dark towards the end, overall I love this parody about children and what they are learning about sex. We need to keep it an open conversation about what kids are learning about sex, what they need to learn, and what positive messages we can send in addition to the serious concerns. I continue to believe that humor helps that.

Study: Children Exposed To Pornography May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable

Another Facebook Find for Passover

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

A facebook friend posted this video. A very catchy song, really, and the video is clever.
So for my Jewish friends who are celebrating – I may even indulge in a bit of whole wheat Matzah with some home made horseradish. That’s my favorite thing to do with Matzah.

sheep, dogs, lights

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

A friend on Facebook shared this. Smiles and laugh out loud. I do hope the animals enjoyed it as well…. because it is brilliant and twisted and funny.

Light-Up Sheep Art – Watch more Funny Videos

Funny with a Message

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

Love Steve’s work AKA Swami Beyondanana. A long time friend, he used to live in Ann Arbor. Follow this link to a wonderfully funny and only slightly painful essay

local clowns

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

I enjoyed this YouTube video of my friend Malcolm Tulip’s clown class.
Enjoy. I do have a question thoguh –
Is it his British accent that makes them seem like Monty Python imitators?

clever spoof – did you know a USB port can do this?

Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

And some people are gullible enough to believe…

There is a real site mentioned, but since it is in French I can’t vouch for its safety.